The Storm Inside

The Storm Inside

 

 

Your distance echoes like thunder above me

Your silence speaks louder than the lightning

As it struck my heart

     Where you touched it

          Giving light

               Where darkness lies

But as flashes they fade

The further you go the more you hide

Remind yourself

     The care you say you don’t hold

          Slips through

               As your distance grows.

 

~HLM 12/21/2012

It is what it is

The unsettling massive confusion is not entirely undesireable

Why?

Forgive me, for I do not know
Nor do I understand
I am grasping at what feels better than what was
for I know what will not be...
but how to convince the entities of my certainty?
Clouds may hang over and secrets may chase
but I have nothing to hide
merely things I want to do
Wish to do
Need to do
The ropes were cut long ago allowing me freedom to explore the distances I could not see
and now that I have them within site
I wish to freely experience
and live
I want no hindrances
Simply to be
and to be what I am
with you
without you.

~HLM

Just Stuff

The words I want to say to you echo daily
and mingle with those I do not know how to say
Even if I were to sit in silence
I know you would hear me
You choose to discount my words
and as much as you try
you are drawn to the nature that is me
you are drawn to who I am
though you deny yourself
you are drawn to how I make you feel
and you are angry because of it
let me calm your anger
walk towards the edge
let the wind caress your face.

~HLM 11/27/12

November PAD Challenge: Day 9

When he's gone

When he's gone
my heart will calm

I don't want it to.

When he's gone
my tears will run

I miss you!

When he's gone
my smile carries pain

It's your smile I long for.

When he's gone
my hands are empty

I want them intertwined with yours!

When he's gone
I'm alone.

~HLM 11/27/2012

http://www.writersdigest.com/whats-new/2012-november-pad-chapbook-challenge-day-9

November PAD Challenge: Day 8 - BLANK!

Completely out of sorts... nothing for this prompt yet, so we'll simply call it a work in progress.  I am hoping to come back to this and complete it one day!

~HLM


http://www.writersdigest.com/whats-new/2012-november-pad-chapbook-challenge-day-8

November PAD Challenge: Day 7

Untitled

Walking in circles digs only a deeper trench
it is time to step beyond this platform
to tear down the walls
to become unified!
A circle
enclosed, around
almost like your arms
as they embrace me.
My smile
a half-circle
once mixed with your lips
becomes whole.
A circle of truth
no more half-truths!
Join me!
Enter my circle!
Let's take a step together
and make our own.
Let's write the words
we hope to repeat
and say them together!
Do not let your doubt
your worry
your fear
close in on you!
Circles
endless
forever
always.
My mind swims in circles
waiting for
you.

~ HLM 11/27/2012

http://www.writersdigest.com/whats-new/2012-november-pad-chapbook-challenge-day-7

November PAD Challenge: Day 6

Who takes the cake?

You ate the left
- it was chocolate

You ate the right
- it was white

What's left is just not right!

~HLM
11/9/2012


Couldn't come up with much on this one ... so I went with what I had. It's short and it's simple.




http://www.writersdigest.com/whats-new/2012-november-pad-chapbook-challenge-day-6

November PAD Challenge: Day 5

Texting my BFF


Pissed off teenagers suck

     Someday they grow up

Got a fortune cookie that said:
a long life is a reflection of ur friends self control.

     LOL! You should know!

~HLM
11/9/12


http://www.writersdigest.com/whats-new/2012-november-pad-chapbook-challenge-day-5

November PAD Challenge: Day 4

Just Beneath Myself

Just beneath myself
you will find another
not fake
nor pretending
devious and evil is she
portraying the side only she knows about
your righteous ways
be cautious
unleashing her may prove brutal
regretful
the power within thy being
is intentionally boxed
your soul is at risk
should you betray her.

~HLM 
11/8/12

http://www.writersdigest.com/whats-new/2012-november-pad-chapbook-challenge-day-4

November PAD Challenge: Day 3

November PAD Challenge: Day 3

What Scares Me?

The dark

The dark closes in
I am alone
I swear I hear the demons circling me
from above
and below
The wind whips around corners
slapping me in the face
rustling leaves on trees
I imagine what creatures lie in wait
staring at me from those branches
as if they know
My heart is sinking
with faith being lost
darkness consumes
creeping like tar on lungs
choking my breaths
telling me my time is running out
I fear this!
A change must be made
light must shine through!

~HLM
11/8/2012

http://www.writersdigest.com/whats-new/2012-november-pad-chapbook-challenge-day-3

November PAD Challenge: Day 2

Full Moon Clarity

Fog rolling in like silent thunder
  cloaking me with fear
hiding visions in front of me
  I walk blind
with arms out in front
  trying to find my way
confusion
  lost direction
"Watch your step!"
  Helpless
but listening
  what do I hear?!
Footsteps
  they echo
is that you?!
  I look up,
I see light,
  the moon,
full and bright
  shines down on you
Is this trickery?!
  Why do shadows dance?
I can't make out your face
  creeping from corners are eyes,
Who are you?
  Reality strikes,
I've never really known.


~HLM
11/2/2012

http://www.writersdigest.com/whats-new/2012-november-pad-chapbook-challenge-day-2

Crazy Emotions

Crazy Emotions

My strong attempt to stay sane when you're around has proven weak.
Your mere presence takes my breath away
and sends my thoughts spiraling out of control;
a massive whirlwind of emotions,
  or at least something reminiscent of emotions.

The feeling felt in the depths of my being are not merely lustful,
they are wishful & hopeful,
playful & giddy,
as if a school-girl crush...
  but not the crazy kind.

~HLM

Chaos ensues my heart

Chaos ensues my heart ...

There are a hundred things I want to say to you
But I figure it’s best if they lay in silence.

I can’t fight the feelings
But I can fight my tongue from speaking the words I want to say to you
I am longing that you wish to hear them
I am longing that you have similar words to speak to me.

But, your silence… it speaks. 
Our meetings are not what I wish
And I am too afraid to insist upon them.
You would say no.
As you should
Doing the right thing.
But, who is it right for? 
You? Me?

Each moment I can’t touch you fills me with another void. 

As much as I don’t wish struggle on anyone, there are days I wish you fought these feelings as I do now.
I fight the words. 
I resist.
But resisting is tearing me apart. 

Life is too short and whether or not the words I want to say are said
Whether or not they are reciprocated
I fight – with right now – as to what good they would do. 
Would I feel better?
Or would the rejection I wait for hurt worse than holding this entire struggle inside?

I don’t worry about the right or wrong of the matter
I worry about my heart
It was broken before I met you
It was breaking apart
One moment with you changed it.
My heart stopped breaking
A flicker of hope existed
But all has been at a standstill since

My own life struggles
My own attempt to rebuild
All in vain.

Is there a chance for redemption?
Residing in you
Your heart
Your soul?

Would you allow it?
Will you allow it?

 I no longer choose this chaos.
 I choose yours.

~HLM

10/17/2012

Vanity

Vanity

The daunting task of expressing your emotions
     wasted
cowardly are thee
     No time for such
Possibilities are void
     as your fear covers your eyes
You are blind
     by choice
You shouldn't burden yourself with worry
     I am fine
Your arrogance, however, is not.

     One so daunted by feelings shall never earn attentions.

~ HLM

November PAD Challenge: Day 1

Match Made in Heaven?

You spoke to me,
  stating the rythmic beating of your heart
asking breathlessly, "why?!"
  I had no answer,
    for mine, too, was beating incessantly.

For this moment,
  we spoke the same language,
our emotions matching
  unspoken wants,
    evident desires.

Now you are silent,
  afraid of what you felt,
afraid of what you still feel.
  I can see the longing in your eyes.
    Do you know I miss you?!
   
Do not look, just leap!
  I'll catch you, but you need to jump
and we need to rise!
  You raised the stakes,
    I match your call!

~HLM
11/1/2012

http://www.writersdigest.com/whats-new/2012-november-pad-chapbook-challenge-day-1

Simple

Please read the love note I am too afraid to write. 

     That is all.

~ HLM
9/25/12

Friday Afternoon Mumbled Words

Are they wasted whispers?
 Careless, perhaps?


Spoken because the resounding echo inside screams
and all once relevant inside has been challenged.
You!
You did this to me!
Do you realize?
OR?!
Do you revel in the fact that you did so?
No matter...
When my heart leapt from my chest
so too did yours.
I heard your words
I felt your skin
I tasted your lips
As days continue on
Each linger
and I long for more
Caution?!
Hell no!
Let's move forward
and figure things out along the way
The intentions were never to cause chaos
but it happened
like waves crashing
I was overcome by you.
Do not deny me another chance...
my body aches and begs.
The world would not have led me to your arms
if I weren't meant to taste you.
Every part of my being swells eagerly
to walk through your eyes once again


    to taste your soul.

8/3/12 - HLM


****

My longing is near obsessive
though not intended to be.

My heart pounds when memories float through.

What I wouldn't give to be there again.
With you.
    your arms
        your heat
            your touch
        your taste
    your flesh
your being.

Allow me to feel you again.
Allow my body to be graced by your offerings.

8/3/12 - HLM

A little something that popped into my head this afternoon. If I don't write it down I won't remember it. Could be a work in progess or a finished piece... let me know what you think.

Untitled

The wind blows reminding us to let our hair down.
To call out to the free spirit residing inside.
Call to her.
Sing with her
Dance with her.
Let her wrap her arms around you
     and transform you into a single moment of carefree,
         weightless worry.
Smother the inhibition with reckless abandon.
Go forth and enjoy what you conquer.

~HLM 6/29/2012

It's been forever

Life continues to take over and avert my attention and intentions away from my blog.  To those very few of you who do read this, I apologize for not keeping up on weekly rants and random poetry.  

What's new?

I enrolled at Minot State University and am currently taking 7 credits.  I am still working full-time and still housing an extra "guest."  That is, however, a rant for another day.   The excitement for school is awesome and I sure hope to make it through math... you see, algebra and I do not get along.  It will be a struggle, but the only way to get to my degree is to challenge the thing head on.  Wish me luck.