Chaos ensues my heart

Chaos ensues my heart ...

There are a hundred things I want to say to you
But I figure it’s best if they lay in silence.

I can’t fight the feelings
But I can fight my tongue from speaking the words I want to say to you
I am longing that you wish to hear them
I am longing that you have similar words to speak to me.

But, your silence… it speaks. 
Our meetings are not what I wish
And I am too afraid to insist upon them.
You would say no.
As you should
Doing the right thing.
But, who is it right for? 
You? Me?

Each moment I can’t touch you fills me with another void. 

As much as I don’t wish struggle on anyone, there are days I wish you fought these feelings as I do now.
I fight the words. 
I resist.
But resisting is tearing me apart. 

Life is too short and whether or not the words I want to say are said
Whether or not they are reciprocated
I fight – with right now – as to what good they would do. 
Would I feel better?
Or would the rejection I wait for hurt worse than holding this entire struggle inside?

I don’t worry about the right or wrong of the matter
I worry about my heart
It was broken before I met you
It was breaking apart
One moment with you changed it.
My heart stopped breaking
A flicker of hope existed
But all has been at a standstill since

My own life struggles
My own attempt to rebuild
All in vain.

Is there a chance for redemption?
Residing in you
Your heart
Your soul?

Would you allow it?
Will you allow it?

 I no longer choose this chaos.
 I choose yours.

~HLM

10/17/2012

Vanity

Vanity

The daunting task of expressing your emotions
     wasted
cowardly are thee
     No time for such
Possibilities are void
     as your fear covers your eyes
You are blind
     by choice
You shouldn't burden yourself with worry
     I am fine
Your arrogance, however, is not.

     One so daunted by feelings shall never earn attentions.

~ HLM

November PAD Challenge: Day 1

Match Made in Heaven?

You spoke to me,
  stating the rythmic beating of your heart
asking breathlessly, "why?!"
  I had no answer,
    for mine, too, was beating incessantly.

For this moment,
  we spoke the same language,
our emotions matching
  unspoken wants,
    evident desires.

Now you are silent,
  afraid of what you felt,
afraid of what you still feel.
  I can see the longing in your eyes.
    Do you know I miss you?!
   
Do not look, just leap!
  I'll catch you, but you need to jump
and we need to rise!
  You raised the stakes,
    I match your call!

~HLM
11/1/2012

http://www.writersdigest.com/whats-new/2012-november-pad-chapbook-challenge-day-1

Simple

Please read the love note I am too afraid to write. 

     That is all.

~ HLM
9/25/12

Friday Afternoon Mumbled Words

Are they wasted whispers?
 Careless, perhaps?


Spoken because the resounding echo inside screams
and all once relevant inside has been challenged.
You!
You did this to me!
Do you realize?
OR?!
Do you revel in the fact that you did so?
No matter...
When my heart leapt from my chest
so too did yours.
I heard your words
I felt your skin
I tasted your lips
As days continue on
Each linger
and I long for more
Caution?!
Hell no!
Let's move forward
and figure things out along the way
The intentions were never to cause chaos
but it happened
like waves crashing
I was overcome by you.
Do not deny me another chance...
my body aches and begs.
The world would not have led me to your arms
if I weren't meant to taste you.
Every part of my being swells eagerly
to walk through your eyes once again


    to taste your soul.

8/3/12 - HLM


****

My longing is near obsessive
though not intended to be.

My heart pounds when memories float through.

What I wouldn't give to be there again.
With you.
    your arms
        your heat
            your touch
        your taste
    your flesh
your being.

Allow me to feel you again.
Allow my body to be graced by your offerings.

8/3/12 - HLM

A little something that popped into my head this afternoon. If I don't write it down I won't remember it. Could be a work in progess or a finished piece... let me know what you think.

Untitled

The wind blows reminding us to let our hair down.
To call out to the free spirit residing inside.
Call to her.
Sing with her
Dance with her.
Let her wrap her arms around you
     and transform you into a single moment of carefree,
         weightless worry.
Smother the inhibition with reckless abandon.
Go forth and enjoy what you conquer.

~HLM 6/29/2012

It's been forever

Life continues to take over and avert my attention and intentions away from my blog.  To those very few of you who do read this, I apologize for not keeping up on weekly rants and random poetry.  

What's new?

I enrolled at Minot State University and am currently taking 7 credits.  I am still working full-time and still housing an extra "guest."  That is, however, a rant for another day.   The excitement for school is awesome and I sure hope to make it through math... you see, algebra and I do not get along.  It will be a struggle, but the only way to get to my degree is to challenge the thing head on.  Wish me luck.