"There are two ways of spreading light: to be the candle or the mirror that reflects it."
Friday, October 18, 2013
Quote of the Day
"There are two ways of spreading light: to be the candle or the mirror that reflects it."
Monday, September 30, 2013
Busy Weekend - Tired Eyes
Wow! What a busy and fun weekend! Make-up and hair session for my client (ok - my oldest step-daughter ;) Sunday morning, by the fabulous Jutone, followed by our final portrait session and immediately following was a family shoot at our local Berry Acres . I had a great time and captured some amazing shots, including this one of the amazing Hoverson family:
Saturday was not as fun, but it was just as busy. Soccer with the youngest, some shopping and cleaning. I managed to get a few moments of "study time" for photography and looked over my books for some ideas and tips for yesterday's sessions. I am learning more each session and loving it. This week will be filled with the usual family chaos and photo edits. I promised the Hoverson family their pictures would be ready for review by Friday and I have until 31 Oct to submit Lo's senior portrait/s to her school for the yearbook. There are so many good ones so I hope we can decide! Here are 2 from yesterday (I took them with my cell phone off the screen of my camera!! I loved them and had to share right away. I cannot wait until I get edits and touch-ups done):
Saturday was not as fun, but it was just as busy. Soccer with the youngest, some shopping and cleaning. I managed to get a few moments of "study time" for photography and looked over my books for some ideas and tips for yesterday's sessions. I am learning more each session and loving it. This week will be filled with the usual family chaos and photo edits. I promised the Hoverson family their pictures would be ready for review by Friday and I have until 31 Oct to submit Lo's senior portrait/s to her school for the yearbook. There are so many good ones so I hope we can decide! Here are 2 from yesterday (I took them with my cell phone off the screen of my camera!! I loved them and had to share right away. I cannot wait until I get edits and touch-ups done):
Everything else has been background noise - some soothing and some not! I was able to spend some quality girl time with 2 of my favorite ladies on Friday night over a bottle of wine and laughter. That was much needed! I still have plans for my future but am working out all the details and getting things lined up. It's been a long time coming and will hopefully bring clarity to a lot of things.
Off to work I go! (the one I have to leave home for!)
Later!
Holly
Saturday, September 21, 2013
See the unseen
O thee I wasted wishes on
you have yet to disappear from my mind
lingering in thoughts
like the smell of a burning fire in the distance
There was so much more
this is so much more
Alas, timing was not precise
You
scared like a child who lost their way
you
over-analyzing what was meant to be
you
hiding the truth behind your eyes
blind to reality
never letting go
yet always want to let go
your want
your desire
reciprocal in nature to mine
to me
to us
Hope still lingers
though hopeless it is to want
one day
soon
this life or the next
we will walk
together
hand in hand.
no complications.
breathe
just be.
Close your eyes with me
see what is unseen
~hlm
9/21/13
(just a small amount of words escaping today... enjoy)
you have yet to disappear from my mind
lingering in thoughts
like the smell of a burning fire in the distance
There was so much more
this is so much more
Alas, timing was not precise
You
scared like a child who lost their way
you
over-analyzing what was meant to be
you
hiding the truth behind your eyes
blind to reality
never letting go
yet always want to let go
your want
your desire
reciprocal in nature to mine
to me
to us
Hope still lingers
though hopeless it is to want
one day
soon
this life or the next
we will walk
together
hand in hand.
no complications.
breathe
just be.
Close your eyes with me
see what is unseen
~hlm
9/21/13
(just a small amount of words escaping today... enjoy)
Monday, September 16, 2013
Any Man
Any man who laughs at your depression and rolls his eyes at your suffering, and refuses to understand it, doesn't deserve you.
Any man who can't hold you on the anniversary of your brother's death - and probably the toughest one yet - as tears stream down your face and you can't breathe because it hurts to, has no right to be discouraged when you won't reciprocate attempts to touch.
Any man who refuses to better his situation allowing his family to fall apart and his home to be ripped away does not deserve anyone in his life.
The aforementioned stands on the edge of losing it all and still believes everything is ok and that the world is oblivious to his shortcomings. It's no longer a matter of support and never was, nor will be a matter of ridiculing, it's a matter of bettering one's own situation and using the resources they have - even though slim they are! - to move forward.
The process is painstakingly slow and the constant battle to take one step at a time is overwhelming. Move forward. Keep moving on.
~HLM
9/16/2013
Any man who can't hold you on the anniversary of your brother's death - and probably the toughest one yet - as tears stream down your face and you can't breathe because it hurts to, has no right to be discouraged when you won't reciprocate attempts to touch.
Any man who refuses to better his situation allowing his family to fall apart and his home to be ripped away does not deserve anyone in his life.
The aforementioned stands on the edge of losing it all and still believes everything is ok and that the world is oblivious to his shortcomings. It's no longer a matter of support and never was, nor will be a matter of ridiculing, it's a matter of bettering one's own situation and using the resources they have - even though slim they are! - to move forward.
The process is painstakingly slow and the constant battle to take one step at a time is overwhelming. Move forward. Keep moving on.
~HLM
9/16/2013
Wednesday, August 28, 2013
Being a romantic sucks!
Yes! Being a romantic sucks. I am ok with being classified as one - I am fully aware that I am one and have always been one. It's when I am forced to give up the facade that things were never really ok. A simple re-direction of the question and bam! I never had to lie about the answer and my rambling usually made one obilivious to the fact that I avoided the question altogether.
The reality is, I am/was (WHATEVER) trying to save you from the unnecessary involvment in a confusing and complicated situation you never caused. I see no need to add pressure to you and implicate you into feeling as if you had to choose a side or be careful of what you say and who you say it to. It's my problem - not yours! You should not have to suffer from the insanity.
On the other side of things, I have been suffering - no fault but my own - from having hope in something that is... well... hopeless. There is no progression. No positive outcome. I kept faith in something that will never change; never produce happiness; never resolve. I kept this up for far too long and am now suffering from the ridiculous of the situation. I have known what I needed to do. I have been given the blessings from cherished loved ones. But, this dumbass "romantic" has remained planted where I know I should not be and most certainly where I don't deserve to be.
There is no fear of being alone. There is a fear of what comes next... another failure. I've had enough of those. I don't want to go through more hopeful situations only to be brought back to the same shit different day, different entity crap that seems to follow me down this mother-truckin' road. I don't want it. I don't want to go through this crap again and I sure as hell don't want to drag someone down with me. I don't even know if I any longer hold the capacity to feel all I've longed for.
Sure, the romantic wants all the possible roses and doting from someone special, but the reality is that it's not going to happen. Not if I remain in this comatose state. Not if I long for fiction.
"I sure would like some sweet company..."
~HLM
(8/28/2013)
The reality is, I am/was (WHATEVER) trying to save you from the unnecessary involvment in a confusing and complicated situation you never caused. I see no need to add pressure to you and implicate you into feeling as if you had to choose a side or be careful of what you say and who you say it to. It's my problem - not yours! You should not have to suffer from the insanity.
On the other side of things, I have been suffering - no fault but my own - from having hope in something that is... well... hopeless. There is no progression. No positive outcome. I kept faith in something that will never change; never produce happiness; never resolve. I kept this up for far too long and am now suffering from the ridiculous of the situation. I have known what I needed to do. I have been given the blessings from cherished loved ones. But, this dumbass "romantic" has remained planted where I know I should not be and most certainly where I don't deserve to be.
There is no fear of being alone. There is a fear of what comes next... another failure. I've had enough of those. I don't want to go through more hopeful situations only to be brought back to the same shit different day, different entity crap that seems to follow me down this mother-truckin' road. I don't want it. I don't want to go through this crap again and I sure as hell don't want to drag someone down with me. I don't even know if I any longer hold the capacity to feel all I've longed for.
Sure, the romantic wants all the possible roses and doting from someone special, but the reality is that it's not going to happen. Not if I remain in this comatose state. Not if I long for fiction.
"I sure would like some sweet company..."
~HLM
(8/28/2013)
Monday, August 12, 2013
Today - I wine!
So far, today has been particularly wretched as you will see:
1) A cranky, old lady decided to lecture me this morning about something I have no control over
2) A transfer of over $250 wouldn't go through
3) Icky stomach
4) Massive lower back pain
I blame it being a Monday. All of the above sucks and I hope things improve. Oh well, just a simple reminder that you don't have control over all aspects of your life. I will simply attempt to:
And... probably take a few ibuprofen.
I shall return - soon - with a more positive message.
Yours truly,
Me
1) A cranky, old lady decided to lecture me this morning about something I have no control over
2) A transfer of over $250 wouldn't go through
3) Icky stomach
4) Massive lower back pain
I blame it being a Monday. All of the above sucks and I hope things improve. Oh well, just a simple reminder that you don't have control over all aspects of your life. I will simply attempt to:
Get through this day
Move forward
Be grateful for all that I have
And... probably take a few ibuprofen.
I shall return - soon - with a more positive message.
Yours truly,
Me
Saturday, August 3, 2013
My male model
Here are 3 shots - edits included - of James B. for Senior portraits
Like always... RESPECT THE COPYRIGHT! DO NOT REPRODUCE OR SHARE AT ALL!
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