You can't change people

"If we could change people, we would be changing them to suit our purposes, which would steal their freedom to make their own choices." Joyce Meyer (The Confident Woman Devotional)

This makes me realize that no matter how much I want... wanted... him to change, it never would have been his choice to do so. That speaks volumes because if he never wanted to, there should have been no reason to wait.  If things or people are meant to change, they will in their own timing.  Sometimes that means it's too late.  Sometimes it means you had enough time to think through what you really wanted and you had time to change and to adjust and no longer desire what you didn't have.

HLM
11.10.14

It's that time again!!!

2014 November PAD Chapbook Challenge

It's that time again!  My goal is to actually keep up this time!


2014 November PAD Chapbook Challenge: Guidelines

Too Cold

She stands with a sad finality
as if she were dying
inside
broken

So gone
stumbling
as if the intoxication of loneliness
swirls around her

Drowning
falling
wishing for one day
of numb emotion

Her veins run cold
ice dripping from wounds
engulfing her body
inside and out

HLM
9.15.14

Brave the Weather

Like the fog that narrows your vision
as you drive ahead
knowing the road does not end
(is my heart)
you still wonder what's out there
what collision awaits
not knowing
yet knowing enough
no matter the direction you go
the fog drifts in front of you
it follows behind
turn around or don't look back
it doesn't matter
there are things unseen
brave the weather
slow your pace when the road curves
stop when you can no longer see
let the light guide you
safely and to where you belong.

~HLM
9.13.14

Human

Human
with or without faults
breathes the air, just as the rest

whether you choose to choke on it is up to you.

~HLM
8.18.14

Bowing out

I am constantly reminded of the impossibility to trust and respect individuals who use less than noble methods to present themselves to me. Each has his/her own choice on whether or not to become a part of my life just as much as they hold the choice and yes, even timing on when to exit it.  I care not, for I was here before you and will remain after. I, too, hold the right to decide whether you're worth being in my life. 

The pieces of this that become truly discouraging are when benefit is given to someone with whom there is already reputable expressions of straight and true.  Don't get me wrong, I am not saying he/she does not possess the moral abilities to function in the given society as an upright individual; I merely mean that what is presented to you is a total fabrication of intentions meant for me.  Things can become difficult, because without trying to complicate things, the innocent parties now have a front row seat to the aftermath of your attempt to sanctify your crisis.  There is no need for the rest of us to suffer from your madness. 

You have every right to figure out what to do next in your life.  You may have been handed the short end of the stick, but just once, try to remember what it felt like when you were on the losing end.  As you crawl back into a comfort zone - one you've made up for yourself - you don't need to infect others with your maliciousness.  

No matter the connection.  No matter the distance.  The ties of two are made with a mere introduction, be it a passing glance, a sleepless night or years of residence inside heart, mind and soul.  You cannot undo this introduction but if a day comes where it's time to cut ties, do it well.  Graciously bow out. 

HLM 

Baby Ari

I sit a couple thousand miles away from 1 of 2 of the greatest step-daughter's anyone could ask for, while she gives birth to her first child.  Life is not always what one expects it to be, but we take it and move forward.  I am amazed at the perseverance of this young woman - now an adult.  She graduated high school with honors! She remains firm in her love for her man and of their child!  She has taken on the role of becoming a mother and is blessed to be surrounded by friends and family who support and love her.  Not all of us can be right there next to her or in the next room awaiting Ari's big debut, but my spirit, love and prayer are there. I am certain there are others sending good vibes as well.  

I am full of a variety of emotions and sit on the edge of what seems a panic attack.  I can only imagine what those in the hospital with her are feeling, let alone what she is feeling.  I would give anything to be there for her in person on this day, and all days to follow as one of God's miracles graces our lives with his presence.  Though I am far in miles, I am close in heart and I pray she knows this.  I know she is in good hands and I am thankful!  

Words escape me ... I am so overcome with joy.  I anxiously await for the news of his arrival!  Keep on pushing, lady!! 

6/15/14
HLM