The process is not without hurt.It is not without feeling.
What process? MY process.
It is not without unanswered questions.Or the regret of those things I did not say.
The moment… the very moment… I realized I felt too much
Every word I meant to say became a cascade of tears.Wiping them away did not remove the thoughts from my mind
And though I am stronger than I had beenYou – yes you – found my weak spot.
Intentional or not – you fucking found it. You pointed it out without words or intended action.
I hate you for that.I thank you for that.
Trying to hide gets tiring, but aids in the process of becoming numb.Once numb, I can be happy.
Or so I thought.I felt something. I felt it and I was angry at first.
Then the realization slowly intervened that it IS ok to feel.
Whether or not I feel the right thing for the wrong person
Or the wrong thing for the right person is not the overall concern.
I felt. It is ok to feel.
I am human. Not without faults. Not without complications.
But, that’s who I am.
I cannot be anything but.
I am broken.
I am bruised.
I don’t want to feel,
but I don’t mind that I did for you.
As always ... a work in progress. Not just my words.