Being a romantic sucks!

Yes! Being a romantic sucks.  I am ok with being classified as one - I am fully aware that I am one and have always been one.  It's when I am forced to give up the facade that things were never really ok.  A simple re-direction of the question and bam! I never had to lie about the answer and my rambling usually made one obilivious to the fact that I avoided the question altogether. 

The reality is, I am/was (WHATEVER) trying to save you from the unnecessary involvment in a confusing and complicated situation you never caused.  I see no need to add pressure to you and implicate you into feeling as if you had to choose a side or be careful of what you say and who you say it to.  It's my problem - not yours!  You should not have to suffer from the insanity. 

On the other side of things, I have been suffering - no fault but my own - from having hope in something that is... well... hopeless.  There is no progression.  No positive outcome.  I kept faith in something that will never change; never produce happiness; never resolve.  I kept this up for far too long and am now suffering from the ridiculous of the situation.  I have known what I needed to do.  I have been given the blessings from cherished loved ones.  But, this dumbass "romantic" has remained planted where I know I should not be and most certainly where I don't deserve to be. 

There is no fear of being alone.  There is a fear of what comes next... another failure.  I've had enough of those.  I don't want to go through more hopeful situations only to be brought back to the same shit different day, different entity crap that seems to follow me down this mother-truckin' road.  I don't want it. I don't want to go through this crap again and I sure as hell don't want to drag someone down with me.  I don't even know if I any longer hold the capacity to feel all I've longed for.

Sure, the romantic wants all the possible roses and doting from someone special, but the reality is that it's not going to happen.  Not if I remain in this comatose state.  Not if I long for fiction. 

"I sure would like some sweet company..." 

~HLM
(8/28/2013)

Today - I wine!

So far, today has been particularly wretched as you will see:

1)  A cranky, old lady decided to lecture me this morning about something I have no control over

2)  A transfer of over $250 wouldn't go through

3)  Icky stomach

4)  Massive lower back pain

I blame it being a Monday.  All of the above sucks and I hope things improve.  Oh well, just a simple reminder that you don't have control over all aspects of your life.  I will simply attempt to:

Get through this day

 

Move forward

 

Be grateful for all that I have

And... probably take a few ibuprofen. 

I shall return - soon - with a more positive message.

Yours truly,

Me

My male model

Here are 3 shots - edits included - of James B. for Senior portraits

Like always... RESPECT THE COPYRIGHT! DO NOT REPRODUCE OR SHARE AT ALL!

Hell... just a quote!

Winston Churchill
"If you're going through hell, keep going."

8th Annual Writer’s Digest Poetry Awards

Dare I say... excitement fills me?! Yep!

I was just thinking to myself that I need a good competition - poetry it is!  Check out the link below for more information. 

http://www.writersdigest.com/competitions/poetry-contests


Here is one for a short story competition as well:

http://www.writersdigest.com/competitions/short-short-story-competition

~HLM

Senior Portrait - Headshot 1

Well, I took a stab at one picture tonight and honestly, if you could see the before and after you would be amazed with what I accomplished.  

The deadline for senior pics to be submitted to the yearbook is 31 Oct.  Time is limited (and will be more-so once the kids get back from New York) so I better get working!! I can't wait for the girls to return so I can get out and take some more pictures!

Ok, it's late and I could ramble on and on and on...

DO NOT REPRODUCE THIS PICTURE IN ANY WAY!  RESPECT THE COPYRIGHT! 

Later,

Holly