Time keeps slipping away

Time keeps slipping away
Progession stays just out of reach
Depression sets in
I may need to adjust my meds. 

Anywhoo...

If there were no such thing as work I'd probably never get out of bed.  Lately all I want to do is curl up in a ball, snuggle with my pets and sleep the drama away.  RIGHT?! I guess taking my own advice - SUCK IT UP - is appropriate now, huh?

Looking at the problem makes me want to vomit.  Thinking of the problem makes me want to vomit.  Realizing I have no QUICK way out makes me want to vomit.  It's like someone put up a fence in front of my focus and goal and hid the ladder for me to climb.  It looks like I'll have to build my own ladder and being that supplies are at a low, it might take some time. 

So, what the hell do I do with the "spare" time I am given?  Bury myself into something productive and rewarding.  Do I take on this photography thing?  Pick up my pen and write again?  Obviously, I should!  Dear Motivation - WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!?!?!  You hid your face and when I find it... you better watch out!

Today I am full of simple ramblings.  Nothing exciting.  Same shit, different day.  It's time to regain focus and

VISUALIZE

POSITIVE

IMAGES

 

Deuces,

Hollywood 

felt this way for sure

every single day...

Where the hell have I been?!

Good grief.  Life... sometimes SUCKS!!!!  In fact, it sucks the parts of me I like the most out and stomps all over them!!!  It's taken a massive amount of time for me to pick up some of those pieces and I'm still in "recovery mode."  Those who know the situation(s) need no explanation and for those who don't.... where to start?!

Honestly, I won't go into every detail but I know it takes 2 to make a relationship work and it has been a huge pain in the ass being the only 1 for MONTHS.  Actually, I am pretty sure it's been at least a year by now.   Yes! Yes!  There are 2 sides to every story and I am not here to bash anyone.  Honestly, there isn't much the defense has to offer and everyone can make their own judgements... but reality leaves me with focusing on how to get to the end result.  The end result is ME! ME! ME! 

I took on becoming a mother to 2 children who are not my own.  It's embarassing to say I've had to mother an adult as well.  One more than capable of directing his efforts towards progress has instead buried his head in the sand, turned his back on what's most important and finds apparent enjoyment in accusing his significant other of the most asinine things,  ridiculing and pretending everything is ok.  I know! I know!  Men don't like to talk... I get that. Always have.  But, seriously, I can't help if you don't pull your head out.  And, the longer it stays shoved up there, the less I am going to care.  There is no time to feel sorry for yourself.  And I have no more sympathy.

The progression of my plan has slowed but I keep focus.  Some days I simply feel I have lost all faith in everythying, but my parents and true - VERY TRUE - friends help keep things in perspective.  I am still scared to death but I wouldn't be human if I wasn't.  I've refrained from doing ridiculous things and have kept true to myself and for that I am proud. 

Soon... but never soon enough it seems, things will move along a little faster.  Until then... I end today's rant.

You know you've missed me.

~Holly

Because I Can - Because I Do!

I am a believer of "signs"
and that things happen for a reason. 

If I hear from you and the song that reminds me of you happens to be playing at the same time, I am going to take it as a sign.

Because I can.
Because I do.
Because deep down I know
as do you.

Like a melody stuck in my head
    you are!!

~ HLM 3/27/2013

Short Story Competition

Short Story Competition 

Lorian Hemingway Short Story Competition to be exact!

Information on  a short story contest can be found below

http://www.shortstorycompetition.com/Guidelines.php


A goal for me to meet... to submit an entry!  We shall see...

2013 April PAD Challenge

YES! It is that time again!  April's Poem A Day Challenge.  I am excited for the prompts and look forward to actully completing the entire month! 

For guidelines and additional information please check out this link:
http://www.writersdigest.com/whats-new/2013-april-pad-challenge-guidelines