Tuesday, March 19, 2013

Where did that come from?

Recently, a question was asked that I had no problem answering (NO) but I have found I am struggling with why the question was asked.  It might just be more insight into why I must continue to focus on what I want. The particular question held no consideration for my life or for my future.  It was an open question but I am at a loss at what else I can do or say.  It's a small peek inside the mind of someone becoming more and more a stranger in my life.  

I become frustrated at the realization that I have been the only one paying attention.  In fact, I find I can't put into words my total feelings on the subject.  Ultimately, it's a same-shit, different-day kind of thing... really.  The lack of consideration to what this would do to those directly involved is beyond comprehension.  Granted (and here goes my self-doubt ... just kick me, please!) it wasn't a solid plan - it was merely a suggestion.  Holly! REALITY CHECK!  Something that big - that far away - is not something that just pops into ones head.  It's an out, but not for me.

Fear not, those of you who know what this is about, I have no plans to concede.  I will keep a partially open mind and listen and offer suggestion (because, unfortunately, that's what I do) but I will not make the journey.    This may just be the sign I have convinced myself I am looking for... I know what my decision is and if I have to make it alone, I will. 

I got this.